There’s only one solution for a sad clown: clown love.  Clown love is when one clown finds love with another clown, and they settle down to raise a family of clowns.  Every clown deserves to find clown love.  First of all, clown love is how we get more clowns.  Clowns must propagate their species just like the rest of us.

Clown love gives us more than just clown proliferation.  Two clowns taking a picnic, or enjoying a bicycle ride through the park, is the surest cure for a sad clown.  And again, to be clear: no one likes a sad clown.  It makes everyone else sad to see that fallen, painted face.  Makeup running from the tears.  Often, the sad clown needs a shave.  He needs a change of clothes.  He is the hobo clown, but taken to a sad extreme.  People watch clowns to be amused, not to be forced to reflect on the iniquities of life.

If you see a sad clown, he probably just lacks clown love in his life.  Tell him to keep his painted chin up, though.  Every clown has a soul mate.  He’ll find his one day, in some lovely lady clown.  And then they’ll have a clown love for the ages.  It’ll be the stuff of movies.  A clown love story.

Come to think of it, that sounds like a pretty good movie.  Clown love story.  I’d pay to see it.  It could feature a sad clown, for whom nothing seems to go right.  Then, just when this sad clown is at his lowest—so sad that he’s contemplating giving up clowning for good—a lady clown moves into his apartment building.  He charms her and, the next thing you know, you’ve got a clown love story.  I would give the movie a happy ending because no one likes a sad clown.

I just hate to see a sad clown.  It makes me sad to see someone who’s supposed to delight me acting so forlorn and dejected.  The next time I’m at the circus, and I see a clown just listlessly going through the motions, I’m going to get up and yell, “Get that clown some clown love!”  It’s bound to cheer the poor guy up.

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